How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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