I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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