neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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