throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Success! We fucked roommates!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize