TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There are leaves in my underwear?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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