i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
