i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
