His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
