i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
