i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
