you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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