she was so not down for the gang bang
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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