i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
