Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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