Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
