Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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