I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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