so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
