just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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