It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
