We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
