My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
