the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize