Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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