so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
