I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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