i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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