she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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