I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
