Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
