How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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