We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
