she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
