Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
and you fell through a lawn chair
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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