Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize