I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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