saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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