My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
