at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
