First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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