im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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