the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
