so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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