Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
