): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
