it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
