im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
