I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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