What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
