Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
