Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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