And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
