Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
