North Korea, Best Korea!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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