can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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