i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
