I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
