I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we're making bets on your personal life
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
