my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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