I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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