great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
