i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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