therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
