It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
