i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
