So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
