I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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