I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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