News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
God I need to hump something, right now.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize