We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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