i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize