C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize